.: Can We Be Happy? :.

me:
'Nak dengar lagu tak?'
him:
'Lagu ape?'
me:
'Lagu sedap, tapi awak tak leh makan la.Dengar je.'
him:
'Ermm..yeke?Skit pun tak bloeh?'

me:

'Tak boleh'

him:

'Ok..ok.Meh kita dengar lagu sedap u tu'
me:
'Jap2..hish, mana pe lagu ni.Time kita nak dengar time tula dia nak hilang.'
him:

'Dengki namanya tu'

me:

'Agaknya la..dengki ngan awak kot..jap ek...'

him:
'Ok~'


~You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, boy
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

him:
'Eh, nape sedih je lagu nie?'
me:
'Mana I tau, dah lagu nak sedih, nak buat macam mana laie'
him:
'Hish, awak nie.Sedih2 pulak.Apesal nie?Not happy aren't u?'
me:

'Kinda..'

him:

'Why sayang...'

me:
'I'm just not happy.Your not around anymore.How can i be happy?'
him:
'Please dun say like that.I'm still here right.Next to u.I'm still care for u.Isn't that enuf?'
me:
'But ur not mine.I wish u didn't have to make this decision'
him:
'Jangan begini.Susah I macam nie.U know the reason right?Why i must do this?'
me:
'I know.It's just that, it's not fair.Itu je.I try to understand but I just think, what ur doing now isn't right.Its just not right.Its so~unfair for me'
him:
'Sayang...'


things turn silent after that
we kept quiet
he looked at me with guilt
i looked at him..in tears..

we talk for awhile
he explain to me
the same thing
over & over again

i kept on crying
& cried harder


he took my happiness away

after that
he left

.: Teary Rainy :.

it was different

that night
i dunno why
i went to his place
just to check up on something
one thing actually..

H.I.M

as i expected
he wasn't there
& all his other things
everything..

so..

i went home

..rainy night..

the weather seem to know how i feel that night
outside the car..
rain started to fill up the atmosphere
while inside..
tears streaming heavily

i couldn't hold the tears any longer
i cried..
all the way back home

while driving back..
i tot alot about him..

his smiles
his voices
his laughter
his jokes
his stories
his ideas about everyting
his preaches
his nonsense
his cheekiness
his upcoming plans
his future
his life..

just about everything

..such a teary rainy night..

hilang semangat
jiwa kacau
otak serabut
patah hati?

E.M.O kah aku?



why?
why must all come to an end?
why must he make that decision?
why hurt me?
why leave me?
why?

rindu?
nak rindu ape?
hari2 depan mata
but still..
too far from my reach
i see him everyday
but..
i can't hold him close
i just can't



lately..
he tried to win my heart back
doing his cheekiness
just like the 1st time we've met
being the person i used to know

but its too late

too late to fix anything
i've moved on
barely..

he knows i'm hurt & upset
he knows i'm angry
he knows well of that..

but what he doesn't know is
i still care..
i'm still hopelessly in L.O.V.E

but i can't show that
i just can't
everything is different now

i must show him i'm ok~
i'm alright
i'm doing well
i'm stronger than ever

i'm just F.I.N.E without him
am i?

he changed..
alot had change the last time i saw him
his status
his position
his environment

one thing for sure
dia dah jadi hak orang lain
mana ada sama dah sekarang..

Dulu boleh la
single mingle
usik2
gurau2
kuar dinner
kuar jalan2
dulu laaa..

sekarang

he's no more AGM..
upgrade to GM now
soon to be SGM in the near future

congrats on that dear..
u deserve it

i wish i could tell how i feel
tell him how much i miss him
how much i want him
how miserable life is without him
how much i need him
how much i care for him
& much, much more

chipsmore?

no more..

dah takdir kot
hmmm.....

.: Last Night :.

finally

it came to an end

S.T.O.P

i knew he would try to fix it

by saying

SORRY

apology NOT accepted

i can never forgive him

the decision he made

causes

heartache

headache

tears

loneliness

shit

got the fever again

i hate it

depression

frustration

stress-tion

erk? sound so~ wrong

tak boley sume nie

i can get fever just having all these

emotions

huhuhuhuu~

"Would you be Happy?"

im asking you..

Are you HAPPY, abang?

i dun think so..

.: HE left :.

got up damn early..

thanx to my sista

got nothing to do then to bug me hah?

but anyway..

i do need that wake up call.. ;P

damn..im early

reach the office around 8:40am

park the car

put some coins in the metre

get the parking ticket

place it in the car

lock the door

& into my office

routine thingy

bare with me

huhuhuhuu..

hmm..

everything seem so~ quiet today

Wait

where is everyone?

me:

'Kak Zarin, senyap je office.Mana sume org?'

kak zarin:

'Pergi tgk launching.Peugeot.Kat Shangri-la Hotel'

me:

'Eh, ahala..lupa..hehe..'

damn.

boredom

there goes my morning session

tick..tock..tick..tock

(time passes by)

Lunchtime!

baru nak jamah biskut

alamak!! Dato' lak masuk

shit!

___________________________________

dato:

ANNE!!!

now the real work start once he calls my name

dato:

'Call each department'

'Ask them to come & see me one at the time'

me:

'Ok~'

krrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg...

(calling each department)

me:

'Sume naik k.Dato' nak jumpe.Cepat skit'

one by one came in

i was there

i heard almost everything

sadness seem to fill in the atmosphere

dato:

'Everyone, i wanna thank u all for all the work & effort to shown me..............'

he's leaving

he's saying his goodbye

now

the room is empty

HE left NAZA TTDI

thank u Dato'

for everything

the knowledge

the experience

the rushing

the multitasking non-stop workloads

the scolding

the screaming

&

the angpow ;P

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G

you will be remember by us

bye.